[ My gReatEst gift iS wHaT i'm hAvInG] :)

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

sigh again>

everything seems to be settled after we had a chat on the phone... and he even came to my house and he said so many things like : 'you have to trust me, believe me' yea i did ...i really did.. and he asked if i wanted him to come and fetch and i said ok.. and today i waited it's 9.30 am and he's still not here.. i called, he didn't answer... a while later i called he didn't answer.. i called again and he didn't answer and i called again and he didn't answer and again and he didn't answer... i thought may be he's on his way.. i thought even though he overslept , he might be rushing and hurried to my house.. i was having a slight headached in the morning.. feel like skipping class... but then i thought... he would be here..so i should get up and dress.. if he's not coming... i would have continued to sleep... and while waiting.. somehow i kept telling myself that he would come.. just wait but it's going to be ten soon..class would start.. and he still not to be in sight.. i sense that he's not coming eventhough i kept tellin myself, he would come.. and he didn't even bother to answer my call.. nor call back..so i drove by myself.. still hoping that may be on the way out.. he might suddenly come...but no.. as i was driving.. i kept thinking.. could it be possible that he's sick? or have accident? ... that's why he didn't come.. may be i think too much.. and i was late for almost 20 mins.. then in the class.. for like 10 mins or so , he came in.. and he walked to sit on my left but one chair away as i put my bag there.. then he said 'sorry i've overslept' ... i know i had told him yesterday that at least he could have told me why he's late or say sorry.. so he did today.. but i just ... disappointed.. again it's like he's lying to me... and didn't even bother to call me..to see if i'm at school yet or not. in the class.. i know that he did look at me a few times.. but i just don't want to really look at him.. and during the class.. i hardly hear anything .. and he just didn't say anything.. i wanted to may be say something.. but i just can't i'm too upset to say anything.. it's like lost sense of feelings.. as i was walking to the car.. he's walking behind me.. i don't know.. i felt like turning to look to see if he's there.. but i dare not to...and later when i was at my car.. i turned to see..but he's at his car just the opposite side of me...i wonder if he's angry

# posted by milk bottle | 10:19 PM | 0 comments

sigh and sigh>

i'm in a bad mood.. well it's mixed feelings.. sadness, disappointment, worried, perplexed, inexplicable, doubt, tired, hungry, upset and inconsolable. may be this is what people called : depression.. well but i had heard that people who had depression would think of commiting suicide.. did i? i don't know.. i can't quite recalled all those thousands thoughts that had lingered in my mind for a while and they kept flashing in and out...i felt so worn out both mentally and physically...i didn't have enough sleep for the past few days.. and last night i slept rather late and woke up by my mum.. and this morning.. i was preparing to go to school.. i somehow felt that wei hao would come late.. eventhough he said he wouldn't.. and yes i'm right.. he's late.. and what my mum told me had actually started up.. i don't want to know if what she said might be true or not.. and i hope it's not true.. but while waiting for him.. i kept thinking about what mum had told me.. well.. mum doesn't know anything .. but i know her intention is meant well for me.. i never really told my mum about my relationship.. and she didn't asked too.. well she knows i'm not very opened about it.. anyway we got to the school late.. as he came late... and there's no parking lot... so it's like 11.30pm and there's not enough time for me to eat lunch.. i got really piss off.. and he's quiet through out the whole journey.. actually i did call him.. but he didn't answer i knew he's on his way.. but at least he could explain to me.. i called actually wanted to tell him not to come anymore.. if it's not his will in coming to pick me up, then don't ever come again.. i could drive by myself.. sigh... then remember what his promise : 'i will never changed' but i think he's already changing.. when we were at school, i kept walking.. then when i walking up stairs .. i turned and looked.. he's gone.. i guess he must be talking to his friends or whoever.. but at least he could tell me.. and later when i was in the canteen.. i saw mooping and he asked if i wanted to join him.. but i did't.. i just went to buy drink.. fruit juice..as there's no time for me.. and then i looked aroung saw.. wei hao....was talking to his friends.. and later he walked pass me and out of the canteen..i'm quite certain that he saw me.. then i go to buy some snacks.. and i saw the milo bar.. well it gives a lot of energy but it's really sweet.. no choice i bought.. and i went to the class by walking up the stairs.. and wei hao was on his phone and walking down.. and he waved to me.. talking on the phone smiling happily.. i actually thought he might be looking for me.. but i think i'm wrong.. if he did , he would have stop talking and stop walking .. but instead he just went off.. he didn't ask me a word if about lunch.. as early on we had said that we are going to have lunch together.. and then when i was in the class Southeast asia studies.. not long after mooping came in.. and well he saw me with the cantelop drink.. and asked me how could it be enough.. and i said i also bought a milo bar.. at least he's concerned.. i think he's a good friend.. well.. later wei hao came in.. he didn't speak a word to me.. i don't think he's even concerned about whether did i have eaten anything.. all he cares is his friend on the phone.. and i'm really disappointed.. i didn't have breakfast (well i could have eaten cereal with milk).. as i planned to come to school to have lunch with him.... and ended up this way.. he didn't even care .. i know he's had eaten something though.. this really made me upset.. why is the person who care for me is someone else instead of him..and how i wish it could be him. and in class he would put his bag on the chair between us.. may be he feel that i always disturb him? or may be because his ex-girlfriend's sister is in the same class as us.. so he wanted to keep a distance..?
then later he waited for me after the class....and i looked up at him.. as he's staring at me.. and then i somehow knew that he must be unhappy.. about something.. i'm too.. then we went to the math class.. we didn't speak a word.. and we were given exercise.. with numerous number..and very large value.. and he didn't have calculator.. so after i used i passed it to him.. and he sort of smile to me for the first time of the day.. after seeing his smile .. i feel slightly better.. then during the break.. he went to toilet and later i did, and when we walked pass , he smiled and saying something.. which i'm not sure what it is.. and i was thinking if i should or not smile back.. but i didn't.. anyway ,we went to get math solution paper.. and his attitude worsen my mood.. just because we couldn't find the room..then i felt how obstinated he is... and ended we didn't get the paper.. and we walked back to our car.. i know he's unhappy as he kept walking very fast.. i asked him.. if he had anything on.. and he said no.. but later on the car.. he kept talking to his ex's friend.. well i think he and her get along even better than me.. may be they should be together instead of him being with me... he kept busying with his phone.. and later he went to take cake or something.. and he didn't mention a word to me until i asked.. i don't know.. but i think these days.. i think.. he nust be talking on phone with her more often than talking with me.. well i think may be i'm making it up.. but somehow i feel that it's true...i don't know.. then i think.. he didn't even bother about my meal but he cares more about the cake.. or something.. whatever it is.. anyway we went to the mall.. as i wanted to change the clothe size i bought.. at there i felt that he talked more to me.. and he's like back to a normal person.. but i don't really want to care about him.. it's the most horrible day.. in this month i guess.. then i kept thinking alot.. lots of people told me.. guys good to you only at the beginning.. or.. in relationship.. there's lots of comlicated things.. may be i'm too fantasy.. and yea not mature..when i'm home... i went to my bed.. i'm exhausted.. it's like 5 pm... and i didn't eat anything... just a cup of fruit juice a few bites of milo bar..and plain water.. and i'm feeling sleepy.. but i don't know why instead of falling asleep ,i was sobbing.. disillusioned..? mum went into my room.. and glad that she doesn't notice but she came in and had a small chat with me..i can't quite remember what did she say...but i guess she noticed that something is not right.. i feel like pouring it out to her.. and i'm so glad that she's there for me..when i'm feeling down.. eventhough she might not know.. i guess i'm suffering from short-term depression.. and later i decided to come and join her with computer game.. and that actually made me feel much better.. then later i went to played piano..at the same times so many things orbiting in my mind.. and later.. i played 'an jing' .. and it's like for the first time.. i'm able to taste this song music.. and know why it's so famous.. may be because it suits my mood..i don't know but it seems so hard for me to speak anything out.. i wanted to but it seems like i had forgetten how to speak.. may be when a person is sad, they would be in this condition.. finished with the song.. it made me feel worse..so i decided to stop..and came to use computer.. and glad that carol is online.. i think told her so many things.. so much that.. i thought it might bored her out.. but she said it's ok .. and she's willing to listen to me.. may be this is what true friends are for.. then i saw missed calls from wei hao.. i'm scared.. to call back.. but carol said i should.. so i did.. and he asked ' what is wrong with me today?' i don't know why.. and he tried to explain which i'm not sure if it's his excuse.. and why wait till now then he ask.. or may be he discuss it with his ex's friend.. as he always did i guess.. and she suggested that he should call?.. sigh.. why am i become like this.. ? i don't feel much better after talking to him.. well.. how could i change in just a few mins.. need some time to heal.. isn't it... ? but for the first time.. i wish i get really sick.. so tmr i wouldn't have to go to school but i guess he wouldn't bring made lemon juice like he did the other time when i got sicked for me.. i don't know why i'm feeling this way.. that i don't feel like seeing him but i miss him a lot..

# posted by milk bottle | 5:34 AM | 0 comments

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

sigh...>

i'm both happy and unhappy... why? well.. happy that english quiz is finally over after a few days of sleeping late.. but the topic that came out is not what i expected... i don't know why i kept thinking that the topic that came out wer obesity or ..military service.. but when he doing the lucky draw.. it happened to be nuclear power.. ahhh.. i was quite shocked when i knew the topic.. not quite prepared!.. and just any how got it done this morning...i had to rush through like mad.. didn't even have time for breakfast..and about late for school.. lucky enough my dad drove me there.. :) so i reached school quite fast.. i think dad is in good mood nowadays.. and yea i think he's ...hehe somehow.. better behaviour after coming back from Samui ... he went with mum.. come to think of it.. i feel like.. they went for honeymoon.. :) so sweet.. i can't quite figure out when is the last time they spent time alone at countryside.. may be none....glad to see them happy.. :) dad was telling me about them going for canoeing..and the boat subsided... or something.. he kept smiling like kid... saying how mum fell into water.. anyway.. = happy ending..
oh yea.. about nuclear power.. i was quite shocked.. and when he " start writing".. my mind was not with me.. i kept thinking " how come it is nuclear power!.....i'm dead" ....then i noticed Nick was looking at me.. as i hadn't started writing... may be i think too much.. then i tried to recall what i had written earlier...then i think it went smoothly until.. the third paragrah... i don't quite understand my own note.. well and some info also missing.. sigh i guess... it's because i was somwhat half- asleep while doing that... the night before.. well. so i tried to think of something else...and i think there's not enough evidence... but happened that i remember some figure.. and so i wrote down.. but there's no citation.. so i just any of what i have ...and wrote it down.. :).... then later wei hao sent me to the hospital where my grandpa went there for eye operation.. but he's going to stay in hospital only for one night.. then wei hao went home.. then i, mum , aunt and grandma... we went to oishi to eat.. i was so hungry as it was already 3pm..and i haven't even have my breakfast.... then when i was at the table with my aunt alone.. we had a small chat.. and she asked me about wei hao.. well ... i think she's really nice and kind.. still remember when i was young , she always bought me things.. and treats me like her own child.. then on the way back home.. mum and i bought chickens.. and we brought to wei hao's house.. i think he must like it.. because it's very nice...but he's asleep.. as he's tired.. so i just passed it to his maid.. actually it's mum's idea.. well i was thinking of that too.. well she mentioned it.. i think she's so considerate.. then both of us went to the mall.. and i bought two shirts which i think it's very nice...i thought mum wouldn't allow me to buy.. well i didn't want to buy.. but i just told her is this nice.. ? and she said take this one.. but of course she knows i like it..
valentine is coming.. well i had a few planned.. it's kind of weird.. because for the past 20 years of valentine.. it means nothing to me.. but this year.. it means something.. :) i told my mum what i wanted to do.. and she just smiled.. and said.. may be she's outdated.. but come to think of it.. may be ..

# posted by milk bottle | 8:25 AM | 0 comments

Friday, January 25, 2008

many>

there're so many things happening today....well not just today but last few days as well.. let's me recall.. hmmm....on tuesday yea.. i went to school alone..as wei hao said he's not attending school.. but he didn't say why.. and i was quite frustrated actually... i wished he had told me what was the matter.. and so i drove to school by myself.. and it seemed like the first day of driving to school since the school reopened... because those days..it's wei hao came over to pick me up at my house.. i'm kind of used to have him fetching me to school now.. and i feel quite weird driving to school by myself.. but still i was there.. i was having southeast asia class... but happened that i left my book in wei hao's car..but he actually said he would come for SEA but skip math.. so i sort of expect seeing him coming into the class.. and i couldn't believe myself... as everytime the door is opened ,i would turn and look to see if it's him.. and till the end , he didn't come.. i was kind of disappointed.. and yea during the lesson.. teacher didn't teach anything.. she just asked us to work as a pair or alone to write an essay on the differences and similarities in two religions..i was in the front role normally sit there with wei hao.. and nobody else.. rin , cake they all were behind.. and there's no seat available there...i was kind of panick... :( i don't have text book..i thoght at least wei hao would pop by and passed m th book ,but he didn't.... lucky enough i turned behind and asked f i could share the book.. mooping.. his name.. lucky i know his name as on the first lesson, teacher asked us to introduce ourselve as in a group.. so i got to know his but not closed.. so i worked with him on the essay .. i did most of the thinking and writing though.. he kept talking.. but somehow i can't quite understand his joke or his sentences,eventhough he's speaking thai... and i just nodded or said ok.. well but at least we coudl finish in time.. and he asked me for my e-mail address..i think it's very normal to give e-mail so i gave him..and he told me that he actually saw wei hao at the university but he didn't come to the class..i was very curious... and at the end of the lesson.. i went to math class.. and after math class.. i was thinking hard if i should drop by at wei hao's house to pass him the worksheet on SEA..and yea when i called and told him.. he was like wanted me to stay and eat at school first or something... but i didn't so i went straight there.. and i asked him again why he didn't come and he just said.. many things to do... when i was at his house.. kind of relieved to see him somehow.. i was a bit worrried actually ..and later he kept persisting about watching alient.. it's not that i want to watch alient.. but i wanted to spend sometime with him so i stay and watch.... and later he went up stairs saying he's going to take something.. but come down with nothing.. which was quite strange... and i wonder what was he doing.. and later after watching for little while more... he took out his moblie and talked and then went up stair.. i was like... ha? the phone didn't ring lol... i didn't care.. but later he came down and give me one rose.. quite a big one.. and i was really surprised... why he suddenly gave me the rose.. and where did he get it from.. and he just switched off the movie.. and brought me to his room.. i was like what are you going to do.. i really didn't expect.... then when he opened the door.. on the floor was..... lighted round dish candles were arranged on the floor in a heart shape with rose petal scattered around it..it was so bright and nice.. i was speechless... was touched and so unexpected... and he reminded me that it's our full two months together...i was totally forget about the date!.. but it did pop up in my mind before..i thought before that he wouldn't be reminded of such thing as he was emgrossed in his studies.. but happened that i was wrong.. he spent so much time decorating... and to come up with this plan.. and skip school..and bought me a present too.. when i'm home and unwrapped it.. it's a small bear holding a bunch of flowers.. and there's little message: 'love speaks even when lips are closed' .. :)
today friday,i was feeling quite moody since last night.. well i don't know.. i didn't mean bad or somethng but yea may be it' s just the way i speak..but why can't a person looking after me since i was young cannot understanding my meaning..why? i felt really upset....

# posted by milk bottle | 9:09 AM | 0 comments

Sunday, January 20, 2008

hamsters>

today i went with my mum to sanamlouang2... to buy few things.. i'm so glad to be there.. and there're so many people and so many things that we can buy.. wish wei hao were there with us.. :) ... so many animals.. like birds, fishes, some weird animal that i don't really know.. anyway i bought a new hamster cage today...which is bigger than the previous one i have.. as well as a see-saw wooden toy for them..i'm just so glad to see them in the new house.. not glad... but excited..haha..it's like two storey! and there's a little house on top.. a door and window.. brownies..is quite fat..and it tried to get through the window and got struck.. i was so frightened.. as it screamed in pain.. then i tried to help it by pulling it out slightly.. haha.. well in the end, it's fined.. but both of them don't know how to climb to the second storey yet..but there's a lot of clean up to be done too.. i felt like i was looking at that for like hours.. happy by seeing them sleeping in the house.. i guess they might have fallen in love with each other.. haha.. i wonder if they did quarrel .. i think yes.. ^-^ i can't wait for them to give birth... but not really sure how to handle with the youngs..
when i come back home...for a few mins we went out again.. and we went to central to have dinner.. at sizzler.. i ate salad... mm quite alright.. hungry again now.. then after eating.. i played picture hiding which i always play with wei hao.. and i teached my parents how to play it.. so fun.. :)

# posted by milk bottle | 10:27 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, January 19, 2008

match>

today is the last day of chinese exam.. well i was trying so hard to concentrate...and been wasting quite sometimes.. and nothing seems to be getting into my mind..so i just watched tennis match between federe and tip...something..anyway both of them play just too well....was really tired.. and this morning i actually took two medicine as i was having headached.. :( but somehow i think i did quite ok for my chinese today.. and at around 10pm..wei hao came to my house.. and we are somehow ok now.. umm well ..i'm kind of happy about it too ...

# posted by milk bottle | 9:13 AM | 0 comments

Friday, January 18, 2008

3am>

it was 3.49am when i took a look at the clock.. i shouldn't wake up at that point of time.. but i just can't sleep well nowadays..i still have chinese exam today.. but i just couldn't sleep..well the old illness is back again.. and i kept thinking about this and that.. and this and that.. i feel like telling my mum about it..but i don't think she knew anything...then i wonder.. if even my mum understand me at all...may be not,not at all.. well that's not the main factor i was pondered about..would anyone know..not really ..may be just a few that read my blog.. sigh..that i actually sobbing for almost forever..when i took a look at the clock for the second time, it's 4.46am.... then i started to have one-sided headached.. on my left side...it's hurt.. and i wonder if it's what people called 'migrain' ...may be not.. i'm not sure if i did really sleep after that.. feel like i was being suffocated by my own depression...i'm really tired both mentally and physically..i just don't think everything that happened is my fault.. not totally...and i wonder why am i trying so hard..and i don't even know what does he expect from me and why would he..and does he even try to understand me for once.. may be...may be..
i'm listening to 'come back to me part 2'..may be that's the only thing now that made me feel slightly better.. i feel really unwell...and i don't really have any energy or mood to study chinese..this is really bad.. :(

# posted by milk bottle | 8:04 PM | 0 comments

sad>

i don't know what had just happened.. what i remember is i walked into my house..while wei hao was in his car and then.. i took off my socks and put my shoes back into the cupboard.. then when i turned to the gate.. saw him standing there.. i thought he had left.. i was really sad and i knew that i was somehow going to cry.. then i asked him ' why aren't you leave yet?' and he asked to go out..and i insisted why didn't he just go.. and he said 'you say it' and he got up to his car..i stood there still..then i walked to his car door..and opened but it's locked.. and i walked back..and he left..
somehow i know he's sad, but i'm sad too..i wonder if he knows that .. no may be he doesn't...in his car.. i remembered him asking me ' tell me what have i said wrong, anything?'.. i'm just quiet..may be he is right .. but slient doesn't mean i have nothing to say.. actually there're so many things wenting around in my mind.. but i don't know why, i just couldn't bring myself to mention a word..but a part of me told me that you should say something..he couldn't understand if you just remained slient... but in the end,i said nothing...that's kind of feelings is really distressed..i don't know it's just..yea may be the word that he said 'youa re already 20, should be more matured....... don't make me disappointed' ...matured.. i hated to hear this word again..yea may be i'm immatured..but what does he expect from me...there's so many matured people out there.. sigh

i really got to study chinese... really have to..eventhough i don't think i'm in the mood..jia you

# posted by milk bottle | 4:41 AM | 0 comments

Monday, January 14, 2008

sushi>

it is really unbelievable that i actually going out with his parents for lunch at sima paragon.... we came to this place AOIwhich sold mostly japanese food.. and his dad chose a set..two sets ..one for wei hao and i to share and the other is for them.. well i feel quite weird.. as normally i don't really eat raw fish nor wasabi..but happened that i eat really a lot of raw fish! i'm not sure if i'm used to the taste of the fish or wasabi.. the person kept serving us a dish after dish.. and i think i ate more than wei hao... he kept feeding them into my plate.. and asked me to eat first..and his dad also asking me to eat more.. and during the meal.. suddenly his dad asked me.. did i buy the butterfly necklace.. and i was ...smiled looking at wei hao... and later his dad said.. oh you gave her.. kind of embarrassing! hehe.... i think the steam egg is really nice.. smooth and soft.. :) haha.. and later after meal , we separated... and two of us went to jula to look for math text book.. on the way.. i stopped to look at clothes.. which are quite nice hehe.. but i didn't know if i should buy as it is really hard to earn money like mum says... and ended up wei hao bought it for me.. >.<>

# posted by milk bottle | 3:25 AM | 0 comments

friday,sat..>

on friday night.. i had a long chat with pake :) i think she's really a good adviser to me... umm yea i think what she says is totally right. and so glad that i have heeded her advice.. then later wei hao called me.. and i don't know why he was saying sorry and so on about what had happened during the past few days.. and he mentioned and explained so many things.. however.. i feel that he was like reading a script or memorizing his speech.. i wonder.. if it because somebody has taught him how to talk?... haha but i think the real reason is... :) yea... but anyway i didn't really want to listen to him..
and so surprised the day after he came to my house in the morning... i really don't know why he came.. and later... he asked me to sit .. then he was mentioning to me that he had prepared and wanted to ask me a question.. somehow i knew what he's going to ask.. but it seems funny to me.. i mean the way he behaved.. and he asked ' do you want to continue this relationship?' and i asked if he wanted but he said he would respect my decision.. at that moment i really don't know what made him ask this.. but i think i know now.. umm.. i don't know.. but i just said that we should don't break up so easily with small matter.. haha he kind of relief and finally smile.. what i have realised is relationship is really fragile.. we are sort of ok now...it's saturday....and i go to chinese class with my parents :) kind of happy because it's been so long since they had sent me to chinese class..and we went to eat the noodle.. which is my mum's favourite .. but i have to say that it's really delicious.. (feel like eating again!) haha.. and during the break.. i was thinking if wei hao would come to find me.. and happened that yes.. he did come.. and i went to look for him.. in his car.. he then asked me if i want spagetthi...the bear that i gave him for his birthday which he always put in the back seat and i said ok.. but what he gave me is not that.. but another bear that he had just bought.. which a bit simillar to that one.. with ribbon tied around its neck.. and he told me to untie the ribbon..at first i didn't want.. but later i did.. then on the bear neck is a neck tie.. but what he wanted to give me is actually a necklace ! so nice! i just love it..it's butterfly shape.. on smaller on ontop of the bigger one.. guess it must be really expensive.. come to think of it.. didn't give him many things.. but it's really hard to buy present for guy... :(

# posted by milk bottle | 2:58 AM | 0 comments

Friday, January 11, 2008

yesterday,once more>

well yesterday isn't a good day.... happened that he talked to a girl in southeast asia class...and talking about sending a file or something... and i got kind of upset.. well and unhappy may be.. i feel that i know nothing much about him..he didn't really tell me much.. but may be to him, he doesn't want to mention those insignificant thing... well i know his character but still i wish he would have tell me about it... and so i didn't talk to him for the rest of the lesson.. and of course he knew it.. and he just kept quiet... i sometimes find him very cute though.. he looked really like a kid to me.. sometimes... during the lesson.. it's totally boring.. the teacher just read from the book... but different from ours.. it's really bored.. and not many people like her lecture.. think i can tell..the person near to me.. fallen asleep.. haha and we are in the first role.. haha... well and for math class.. the teacher is a lady so cute! :) and her teaching is really good.. and i met her in the toilet too.. and she speaks to me.. ! i really like her lol! well but later... wei hao still sent me to chinese class.. eventhough he was really tired..he slapped himself slightly to wake him up.. i feel so bad.. and i told him that he doesn't have to send me ... but he insisted... and during my lesson, he doesn't sleep at all.. he told me that he was thinking about something.. and during the lesson i was thinking about something too.. and i think may be it is better to break up and ... so on and so from.. and in the car, jay chou's songs were swtiched on.. sigh.. and only sad songs are being played.. like '' wo bu pei'', ''tui hou'' , '' excuse''.... and on the way back when he said he thought about the matter for the whole time.. i was really thinking may be ... he's thinking about breaking up too.. as we always having troubles in our relationship...and reminded me about ...the calculation.. in for horoscope of mine and his... and it turned out like only 41%..compatible... and for love calculator.. is quite low too.. god i really don't know why i believe or even remember such thing...and a few times.. when we had some poblems.. i would think.. may be calculation is true....and when he said it.. when we were at the front of my house...it is not.. he was just mentioning about the incident.. about the girl today.. well anyway... things are solved... it's like we are having problems everyday...

# posted by milk bottle | 6:49 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

days..>

well yesterday... is the first day of second trimester.... it is one of the worst day in the year for me.. i know that i dumb.. really dumb after telling him, wei hao about... accepting the 'stupid guy' in hi5.. and wei hao got really angry with me...really a serious one.. he became very cold..and not even wanted to talk to me... :( and when we went into the class for english.. happened that i sat next to gaf and to wei hao...and next to wei hao is rin.. then Mr ferriman asked us to discuss in pair.. and so my partner is gaf.. well i think it is good too..because i don't think wei hao wanted to really talk to me.. gaf is really nice.. and well throught out the whole lesson, i never talk to wei hao nor he did to me.. so when i had any questions i asked gaf.. and later after the class.. wei hao just walked back to the car without even waiting for me.. and i really not knowing what to do.. so i walked behind him for quite a distance.. as walking i think, may be i should go home by myself.. may be he didn't want to even send me home.. but i had tried so hard to explain to him just before.. that i had nothing to do with that guy.. and then i asked him...why couldn't he just trust me... and he said how could he trust me.. i really didn't expect things to turn out this way.. i thought it is a need to tell him.. because it is nothing wrong.. i'm not doing bad things so should be opened to him.. but he took it so so serious!... i don't know.. ok and then when he reached his car.. he got in and i wondered.. if he would drive away and left me to the fate.. and i increased my pace...thinking hard.. may be i should just call and wait for my parent to come and fetch me home.. then mum would ask me 'what happened?' ... ok may be i think too much.. he did wait for me to get into the car.. on the way home, i dare not look at him..not sure if he does...sigh.. i really think that may be after a while he might tell me' let's break up'... but he didn't.. and when reached my house.. it seemed that he couldn't wait to get me out of his sight... but i think it didn't do any good this way.. so i kept asking him to go into my house..but he kept refusing ... in the end he did... and i kept serving him water.. and he asked.. is it all that i wanted to do....and he said he wanted to go home.. then so i led him to my computer.. and go into the hi5.. want to delete that person in front of him.. but he said what is the point.. and he kept wanting to go.. after deleting.. he's leaving... and i tried to find excuse to go with him.. so may be that would make him feel better... and don't know.. ended up at his house.. he wanted to change his clothes.. and meeting his mum too.. his mum asked what happened to him as he looked rather unhappy.. and his mum talked to me.. if he did anything bad to me must tell her so she would scold him for me.. but how could i say that it's my fault.. i just can't.. but after a while.. wei hao changed back to the same old happy person.. after talking with his mum.. and so we decided to went to the park.. for a walk.. but of course.. the incident is still left deep impression on him.. i feel really sorry.. and when i sat there in the park with him.. and he just decided to go.. but i just refuse.. so he just walk away.. which was really sad.. and i turned and look several times.. but he just kept walking without even turning back.. and he walked so far and further that he was out of sight... i felt like crying.. how could he just go like that.. well.. i really wonder if i just kept walking the other way.. and lost in that big park.. would he go and look for me? i wonder how would his reaction be ... but may be i was too coward... so i chose to sit there and wait.. and yea he did come back..

# posted by milk bottle | 9:48 AM | 0 comments

Monday, January 07, 2008

perfect day>

it is the best day on sunday... i get a chance to go out with my cousins... pake,bell,pete and apple... all girls though.. and it is so nice of wei hao to actually come with us.. i'm really touched that he doesn't mind going with us.. and when i asked 'are you bored?'.... he would said '' no, at least i get to see you''...bell went together with us.... and later we met pete at siam... then we went to milkplus to have some drinks and then we went for to shop for a little while.. and later pake and apple came to join us.. and we went to have lunch together..most of the food quite spicy..well.. and later we planned to take neoprint...but apple and bell refused... so only four of us went to take...it was really fun and we really enjoy the time.. and the photo that comes out really look so nice!and the price is reasonable.. so later we went to eat ice-cream...and we chat... well and on the way home.. i said that i feel like going to the park..but it might close by the time we get there.. but still wei hao insisted driving me there....and quite disappointed that it closed... and i feel so bad.. he's verytired.. but still want to drive there just because i said i feel like going ....

# posted by milk bottle | 6:55 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, January 06, 2008

fast>

god! times really flies... :) and this holiday is considered as the most busy holidays.. like i have to attend chinese class.. and can say that everyday... i would wake up and get dressed.. and then later.. he would come and pick me up at my house.. then later on... in the evening he would send me home.. and like.. around 11pm plus.. he would call..and we would talk on the phone.. and then sleep.. it's like my life routine now... but tmr is first day of school again..

# posted by milk bottle | 8:02 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

que yang>

today wei hao comes back from phuket.. and i recieved his call at.. almost 12.30 am... and after talking for a while.. he said he's actually in front of my house... i was so shocked... so i grabbed my jacket.. and went down.. so surprised.. by seeing him in front of my house at this point of time... he looked more tanned.. but somehow looked better haha.. i think he looked rather good with sweet perfume he always sprayed on.. it is so sweet of his.. as he has to actually drove to my house.. he said he supposed to be reaching bangkok at 9.30pm and reached home like one hour later.. but then happened that the flight delayed for like 1 hour... so he reached home like 11 plus.. and he said he quickly showered..and drove to my house.. i'm quite touched actually.... haha.. well and another thing.. after looking for my watch like forever.. finally i knew where it is.. it's dropped in wei hao's car.. the strap's metal came out.. and migt slipped off my hand without me knowing.. but lucky that it's not lost..

# posted by milk bottle | 11:02 AM | 0 comments