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Friday, April 10, 2009

sigh>

it seems like in a relationship is not always smooth..

suddenly after listening to his request of breaking up, i'm a bit lost..i feel like going straight to look for him and explain everything to him just everything.. even if he doesn't understand, i would still say until he understand what i really feel .. but i guess he would refuse it all.. i know and understand his temper , i guess it would be better for him to cool down ..

but what if he insists with the break up? what could i do? i'm not sure if it would be like the first time.. and i guess there's nothing could change his mind..

let's say if we break up .. so many things came to my mind.. ok.. let not talk abt my emotion now.. it's sort of become numb.. well first thing first, i don' t know how to tell my mum abt that ..she sure will ask.. and my sisters.. and so on.. well.. i suddenly think of jay's song again.. "together is called a dream, separate is called pain" of course, i hope we can be together
it seems like.. yesterday we are still so happy having dinner together, chatting and promising of going out together ...

now i know why he called me in the evening, i guess he want to ask me out to talk as he already has "break up" idea in his mind. but i don't want to blame him .. no i won't well i think i can understand how he feel ..he's sensitive and i'm not so sometimes... but at least he should believe in us of how we feel .. it is not just about one password and that is the end of it.

i overheard in the phone when i and him were talking.. and i heard the doorbell many times.. i guess his parents were rushing him down as they were going to the airport for a trip to china. but he shout ahead that he's not wanting to go anymore. and he said to me that there's nothing left for us to talk.. then i heard his dad voice (not quite happy) and so he hanged up the phone. i still can't believe it ended like this..

as i'm in front of the com talking to a few friends.. sarah and pj always insist that i break up with him haha.. but serena said shouldn't..
anyway not long i heard the phone rang so i walked to the room.. not quite in a mood to answer...
then i saw it's him ..again.. which left me puzzled then i answer and i could sense that he's no longer angry but i'm not happy .. how could he just say break up without wanting to..and one minutes later act like nothing happen.. well but i can't deny that i'm a bit relief .. however, i don't know what was my feelings anymore..so he's at airport already andgoing up the plane. it would be like 6 days that we will not get to see each other.. then later he called again when he was on the plane. and i felt unwell .. like having a slight headached.. -_- so i didn't have mood to talk much..

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it has been only one day and i miss him already. i wonder if he feels the same or just having a good time ,enjoying his trip. it seems like he occupied my thought the whole day long and many times , i would be lost in the thought of the good times that we have.

i had a good chat with sarah in msn. she told me so much abt her stuff hehe.. :) i quite miss her and others! haha.. it's been so long that we last met and i wish i could be there again . i wonder if i would still like mos burger (ebi rice) like i use to like... or would it taste not special as i used to think..

today i also went to the fitness with my mum.. :) (actually i feel abit bad abt my self soemtimes.. as i tried to use the hello kitty phone but it doesn't work then my mum cam over to help and i sort of blame her for it) .. i feel so bad but i guess she understands...

we were at the mall..for yoga class.. and i feel like had been tortured.. and i feel that the teacher was looking at me ..with a smile ..that i couldn't do ...+_+

# posted by milk bottle | 7:59 PM

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