[ My gReatEst gift iS wHaT i'm hAvInG] :)

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

sim>

how i wish life could be like in the sim... it's like when u want to get close to someone just kept talking .. and the relationship with that someone would be good.. or you can just design on what to do... i thought i feel pretty good today... but it seemed to be one of the worst day..

i ignored my mum somehow.. but i just do't want to listen to her talking about relationship is this and relationship is that.. and i should do this and that.. and this and that and i feel that many times .. after taking her advice.. my relationship become worse..and she always says i'm too stubborn.. i don't know but i hate to hear that.. just because i asked her to go and shower first as she came back from fitness and i just want to use computer for awhile and then later do my chinese homework.. just like that she nag at me.. i couldn't help but thinking of going somewhere away very far.. like lead my own life.. i think i know why the tarot card says i want to go oversea for further studies but i guess now i know the reason....ok .. it's not just that though.. but the relationship as well.. i wonder why do i have to suffer so much? and i came to realize something that this is Not what i really looking for.... may be i'm lying to myself all the time..

now i feel like giving up on everything.. i don't feel happy anymore even though he calls me tonight..even we talked a few more sentences than the few nights before.. well the few nights before is like.. we talked not even one mins.. and today he says like.. i shouldn't irritate him when he's busy.. whatever it is.. i don't really even know when he's busy or not as when i call, he would say like.. he's watching tv..or smth... moreover it's holidays now.. but what i'm feeling right now is just ..is just.. giving up..
it seems to be a surprise but i'm not surprise..instead no feeling and i don't feel like speaking any word.. when he talked to me in msn when he never really does..or most of the time i msn to him and he didn't answer..

i thought relationship should be like motivate each other or want someone to be there when u are tired or stressed out.. but it doesn't seem that way.. when i want him to motivate.. he would say like ..u have to depend on yrselves ...blah blah.. and he doesn't really want me to bother in any of his stuff..

i start to wonder if it's worth all of my time and effort to come up with that birthday present..especially for someone who would not appreciate.. well he would but.. still i think he's not worth that..

anyway i have made up my mind that i will get my chinese homework done! and i will be more concentrated on my chinese .. and i would put relationship aside..

# posted by milk bottle | 8:53 AM

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